Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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