Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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