Nicole vs. Life
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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