I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
