We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize