i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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