considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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