i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
