She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He called his prostate his "boner button".
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize