I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
