If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
