Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
