i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
