Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
