and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am midnight drunk by noon
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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