i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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