I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize