my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize