They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
