I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
