you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
