Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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