im holly from the hills drunk
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
