I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
