THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
