i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
