i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Dear god my vagina.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
