she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
