what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
