So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
