You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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