hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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