I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
