I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
