i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
