His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
