Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
