I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
it's like heaven, but drunker
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
