that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
