I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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