I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
