Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
