I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
