dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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