using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
