opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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