We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
