I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
