She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
