you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
