This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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