yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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