I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Duck Duck Cougar?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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