Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I party with great urgency now.
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