Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
