So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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