My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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