i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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